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Episode 2525: The Siege Perilous

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Weapons don't necessarily need to do damage to be a threat. Try to come up with something more creative. A high tech or magical weapon that (roll d10):

  1. Reverses the direction of gravity for a hit target.
  2. Makes the target insubstantial, so they can no longer hold or manipulate objects.
  3. Causes the target to relive past traumatic memories.
  4. Creates a copy of the target that then begins a duel with the target.
  5. Magnetises the target, making them attract any metal within a certain range.
  6. Encases the target in a bubble of frozen time.
  7. Removes all sensory input from the target, rendering them blind, deaf, and unable to feel their surroundings.
  8. Saps the target's luck - anything they try to do will fail in a slapstick manner.
  9. Makes the target smell really, really, awful. Making them and any nearby allies retch.
  10. Swaps the targets mind with that of a nearby animal.
Commentary by memnarch (who has not seen the movie)

Oh, now that's an unexpected twist. It looks like there's a bunch of AT-ATs like I expected, but there's also the weird thing in the middle being..... towed? That's really sad if this battering ram cannon is actually being towed on the ground. Like, okay, we've had things pulled around in Star Wars before, but those at least were smaller and less expensive things. A large weapon that can't move itself around at least a little bit doesn't feel Star Warsy, especially if it's meant to be a mini-Death Star device. It has to get moved from ship to planet somehow; why not simply build that method onto the weapon like some sci-fi ersatz A-10?

Galen Erso? Ok, maybe it's not exactly a battering ram cannon being towed then. The whole time manipulation idea, while really cool, does seem to have a few holes in it for what's been shown in the past. Plus, as a present comic plot, that's also going to be a strike against it. I'll probably change my mind in the future once I get a better look at the thing however. There's no way we won't get an up-close image, even if it's only while the thing is exploding.

Transcript

Finn: I take a look outside, through a viewer scope.
GM: You see First Order forces deploying a battering ram cannon.
Poe: Awesome!
BB-8: Like... A high-tech siege engine? I thought that was patently ludicrous.
GM: It’s just miniaturised Peace Moon tech.
C-3PO: So one of Galen Erso’s contraptions.
Rose: Oh geez. Time manipulation. That could do almost anything. Throw us back hundreds of years.
C-3PO: Or regress this fortress to before it was built! We’ll be fossilised like dinosaurs in solid rock!
Poe: Awwwe-some.
GM: Or... it might just blow a big hole through the blast door to let ground troops in.
Finn: We can’t take that chance. We need to take it out before they can fire it.
BB-8: How do you come up with such devious things??
GM: Well. That’s my little secret.


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Published: Tuesday, 01 October, 2024; 02:11:16 PDT.
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