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Episode 1591: Battlers of Katarn


If a player has resigned their character to a heroic death for whatever reason, the very least you can do is to make it memorable. Something that wouldn't happen to mere ordinary souls. Something amazing.

Elemental forces are good for this. Air, earth, water, fire. In enormous quantities.

[Reminder: Our guest commentators have not seen Rogue One. Part of the fun is seeing how their untainted impressions re-interpret the movie through the lens of our comic.]

Nice speech there Jim. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to get your troops to slay a sandstorm.

Of course, he should have known those troops wouldn't stand a chance. They were neither Jedi nor people with laser swords.

And now that I'm thinking about it... how did Jabba get away? I had assumed his Pleasure Dome was attached to that complex, but now it's obvious that it was either his big party boat, or he was travelling to it.

I hope we catch up to him soon. Also Wedge. Because apparently he's necessary to make Cassian useful.

Cassian, by the way, isn't even piloting the ship from what I can tell. K-2 is totally running the show.

— aurilee

High charisma. Order your followers to certain death.

And not only does K have to go at extremely high acceleration to get there in time, you also have to brake. Wait around long enough for the humans to get on board. Then take off fast enough to avoid being destroyed, without so much acceleration that you squished their squishy bodies.

That's an amazing robot. Why don't we see more high-quality robots like this in the rest of the series?

In fact, since the story takes place before Episode IV, we really should expect to see technology that is less than what we saw in Episode IV. We should see the filmmakers actually downgrade their technology, we should be seeing transmissions that are worse than what we saw in the first movie, we should see robots that are in between what we saw in the original trilogy and the prequel trilogy.

Oh right; R2 was a better robot in Episodes I through III, so I guess we are consistently seeing technology go down with time. Consistency is good.

— Keybounce


[SFX]: rumble... rumble...
K-2SO: There you are! All aboard.
Cassian: Thanks, K!
GM: Kyle, you bravely face the impending doom of turbulent rock. Sand particles begin to blast your skin.
Kyle: Oh, sandstorms are easy to defeat...
Kyle: Arise, arise, Partisans of Katarn! Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter!
Kyle: Ground shall be shaken, rock be splintered, a Saw-day, a red day, ere the sun sets! Stand now, stand now! Stand with me!
Partisans: For Katarn! For Katarn! Charge!
Partisans: Charge!!
Partisan 1: Have at thee!
Kyle: I'll just pop back inside and fetch my laser sw—

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Published: Sunday, 24 December, 2017; 02:11:02 PST.
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