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<     Episode 1310: if (u.happy() && u.know(u.happy) && u.hands != NULL) {u.hands.clap();}     >

Episode 1310: if (u.happy() && u.know(u.happy) && u.hands != NULL) {u.hands.clap();}

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Sometimes bad news is good news in disguise. At least if the main villain has all the things needed to dominate the world, you pretty much know where you have to go.

If Sauron had had the Ring, the Fellowship never would have had to break up. They just could have gone straight to Mordor and kicked his arse, rather than faffing around in the Forest of Fangorn and all that other stuff.

(Yes, we're drawing a parallel between Frodo and R2-D2 here. Think about it: They're both short with big feet, have an important quest to accomplish, are often overlooked by taller and more powerful beings, have a loyal but overly verbose companion, are honoured by royalty, team up with a crazy old wizard in a robe who dies and comes back more powerful than you can possibly imagine, sustain serious injuries and are assisted back to health by their loyal companion, and lust after an object of incredible cosmic power.)

Transcript

Luke: Right, R2, we're done here.
R2-D2: Did you find out where Vader is?
Luke: From a certain point of view.
R2-D2: Well, great.
Luke: Hey, I found out she's on the new Peace Moon.
R2-D2: They built another Peace Moon? Yes!!
Luke: Um. This is really bad news. They've got the Orb and everything.
{beat}
Luke: Which of course for you means...
R2-D2: I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW


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Published: Thursday, 04 February, 2016; 02:11:02 PST.
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