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Episode 578: Children of the Scorn


One of the eternal debates in roleplaying is whether or not to kill the children of evil races. Take orcs for example. They're evil. All of them*. The kids will grow up to be evil. So you should kill them, right? Except they're just kids! You can't kill them! But you have to! But you can't!

This is a serious issue, especially for high school kids struggling to figure out their own place in society and come to terms with how they relate to other people. Who says roleplaying can't teach you important lessons about life?

We decided to kill them. Like 99% of young roleplayers faced with this scenario in a game. Now that it's out of our systems, we hardly ever kill kids now that we're grown up.

* Well, except for the odd black sheep who bucks the racial tendency and becomes an angst-ridden beacon of protagonism. Like Drizzt Do'Urden**. And every single dark elf that anyone wrote about after him.

** Who was a dark elf, not an orc. It's an analogous scenario, not an identical one. Don't send e-mails.


Anakin: Padmé, calm down.
Padmé: Why did you kill those children?!
Anakin: Why? Each one would have grown up with a heart full of vengeance.
Anakin: Each one with the power to control the minds of the weak-willed.
Anakin: They were children on the face of it, but demons inside.
R2-D2: Plus they were 2500 XP each.
Padmé: Seriously? Why didn't you just say that in the first place?
Anakin: We want peace. That was never possible with the Jedi rot.
Padmé: You must have levelled... twice? Three times?
Anakin: It needed to be done. Only one with strong will could stop this contagion before it began. The Sith—
Padmé: Look, you don't need to pull that Sith rubbish with me. I'm cool with it.
Anakin: You are?
Padmé: Sure. Say it with me now:
Padmé & Anakin: "I made it all up..."
Padmé & Anakin: "to turn Palpatine against the Jedi..."
Padmé & Anakin: "and now I'm all-powerful."
Padmé: There, isn't that better?

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Published: Thursday, 02 June, 2011; 03:11:01 PDT.
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