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Episode 162: Mean Queen, Fightin' Machine


When you're a GM, of course you create a complicated end-of-adventure lair, full of traps, guarded by formidable monsters, and basically bristling with death around every corner for the unwary. And your players will barge straight in with no thought or planning beyond "Storm the joint and kill everything."

And then there are times when you have a minor obstacle somewhere that the players should just blow through before reaching your awe-inspiring end-of-adventure encounter, such as some throwaway zero-level guards or something. And the players will spend forever coming up with more and more complicated plans to cover every eventuality, spending an interminable age deciding how to tackle these faceless mooks, on the basis that they're probably deadly dangerous and will kill them instantly if they're not meticulously careful.


Qui-Gon: ... and then R2 can project a hologram of me behind the droids to distract them—
R2-D2: My projector range is only 10 metres.
Obi-Wan: Hmm. Is that tree within 10 metres?
Qui-Gon: Annie, you check the ventilation ducts and see if you can disable the security system.
Anakin: Is that before or after I set up the mirrors?
Obi-Wan: Wait until I'm on the roof, otherwise they'll spot me.
R2-D2: Shouldn't someone competent climb the vines?
Obi-Wan: Hands up everyone who has hands.
Qui-Gon: Right. If we're all ready, I'll walk up and Bluff the droids.
R2-D2: Wait!
R2-D2: Can we lure one around the corner and use it as a disguise?
Qui-Gon: We'll have to rethink the mirror placement...
Padmé: Oh for crying out... {steps out and opens fire on a droid}
[SFX]: Blam!
[SFX]: Krapow! {droid explodes}
Qui-Gon: {running after Padmé} Ooh. She's dual-classed?
R2-D2: Apparently she's a Monarch/Rogue.

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Published: Sunday, 02 January, 2011; 14:36:51 PST.
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