Darths & Droids


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Episode 72: Tell Us What You Really Think


Sometimes the GM just has a nice idea to help out the party a bit with some minor inconvenience that doesn't really add much to gameplay, and it backfires really, really, really badly.

Oh, and while the Darths & Droids universe doesn't have Star Wars, it apparently does have:


Padmé: Is that a protocol droid?
Anakin: Yeah, I built him myself! You can take him to help you on your mission! A translator will come in handy.
R2-D2: It translates?
C-3PO: {spoken by the GM} Yes. I am fluent in over six million forms of communication.
R2-D2: Right.
R2-D2: Ahem.
R2-D2: Squee ding, bleep bee-oop bip, doop beep bleep bop bee-oop.
C-3PO: {spoken by R2-D2's player, Pete} You there, humans! Is there any danger of us actually, I don't know, moving on to something more exciting? Something where my maximised mechanical repair, fabrication and analysis skills might actually be of some use?
R2-D2: Doop bwoop bwoop, beedle bedooby, squee boop bop boop bwoop.
C-3PO: I mean, here I am, brain the size of a planet, wandering around some one-horse backwater of a town with this party who wouldn't recognise a coherent plot if it painted itself purple and tapdanced on top of a harpsichord singing "Coherent Plots Are Here Again"...
R2-D2: Bip squee pop. Squee beep bip boodle bedooby, beep bloop doop boop ding.
C-3PO: And another thing. Handmaiden. Did it occur to you that if you're going to clean a droid to go out in the desert, it might be an idea to put on a layer of wax or something to protect against, I don't know, sand messing up my finish and getting in all my joints to negate my inherent advantage over your inefficient organic means of locomotion?
GM: Um...
R2-D2: Squee boop bwoop doop ding beep bang, ping beedle bedooby ping boop proww ping boop whrowww whroooop bing whirrr.
C-3PO: Did anyone consider that a droid that is optimally designed to repair anything in space might be of maximum utility, say, in space? What kind of Bizarro World science fiction campaign dumps us on a dingy planet without so much as a battery-powered toothbrush? Where are the space dreadnoughts bristling with atomic missiles? Bring on the space dreadnoughts bristling with atomic missiles!
Padmé: You know, I'm not sure we need a translator.
Anakin: You're probably right.
R2-D2: Boop!
C-3PO: Hey!

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Published: Sunday, 02 January, 2011; 14:36:51 PST.
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