Always make sure you get your due in the XP department. If you defeat the monsters, obviously the XP are yours. But if you are the cause of the monsters being around, you also deserve all the XP for them, because nobody would be getting any if it wasn't for you.

So when you wander through dungeons or the wilderness, make sure you make loud noises and do other things to draw attention to yourself. Throwing chopped up bits of previously killed monsters around is a good idea. You want to attract the larger carnivorous monsters, because they're more valuable.

In the real world of the Carcasses & Carcharadons universe, of course, the Jaws movies don't exist. That's the premise of this entire comic, after all. But most of the other things we know and love (such as enormous sea-dwelling monsters) do, albeit modified by the lack of Jaws:

• Sharkballs is a serious documentary about golf.
• Roy Scheider is known (barely) for doing voiceovers for poorly selling computer games, but gains widespread fame after his appearance in the first Futurama movie.
• Robert Shaw is known primarily for his role as Red Grant in From Russia With Love.
• Nerdy guys make YouTube videos of themselves doing extreme yoga instead of scraping their fingernails down blackboards.
• Without the success of Jaws to spark interest in dangerous man-eating animals, Daktari was never revived with a movie and a new series, and remains an obscure short-running TV show.
• Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea was never made into a film. Verne fans never had it so good.
• The major wild animal background that pervades all of Western culture is King Kong, despite it never being much good. The original film was remade recently into a new, updated television series with a bigger budget, high-tech computerised special effects, and edgy writing. And it sucked.
• Throughout the late 1970s, all the greatest Hollywood blockbusters were big-budget crime caper comedies.
• The Comic Irregulars exist and are making a screencap comic based on Casablanca.

Vision-Impaired Transcript

Quint: Brody, start that chum line again.
Brody: Let Hooper have a go!
Quint: Hooper drives the boat, chief.
Quint: What are you doing?
Hooper: Practising my probability calculations. Who put you in charge anyway?
Quint: I didn't take Grizzled Sea Captain, Bully, and 4 levels of Overconfident to get extra points in shark hunting for nothing, you know.
Brody: Do you know the odds of a wandering monster in open ocean?
{A huge shark appears behind Brody, as he tosses chum into the water. Brody notices it and recoils.}
Hooper: Wow. I don't think I've ever seen a bigger fish.
Brody: I summoned it! The XPs are mine!