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Episode 1785: Pig-Penmanship

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"Let's just settle down and discuss this situation calmly," is a great line and should be used in games more often. By both GMs and players.

Any situation where the PCs start getting violent, have an obviously dangerous combat-opponent NPC step up and say this line and then watch your players think twice before trying anything. Say it with just enough menace beneath the surface intonation, and watch them think thrice.

On the other hand, when your characters are in a hopeless situation and you're about to be attacked by overwhelming forces, using this line can buy you a bit of time as the attackers hesitate. Hopefully.

Well at least it has a good chance of making your GM smile.

Transcript

Link Hogthrob: Let's just settle down and discuss this situation calmly, like. Oink!
Link Hogthrob: You absconded wiff this ship while the owners, i.e. that is us, was on board?
Luke: We're just borrowing it. We'll give it back. Here, I'll write an I.O.U. {pulls out a notebook and pencil}
Link Hogthrob: Oi! We ain't no sheep.
Luke: Sorry, an I.O.Hog.
Link Hogthrob: Is that... is that... paper?!
Luke: Uh... yeah?
C-3PO: Yoda told us paper has corrupted midi-chlorians. It's eEeEeEe-vil.
Julius Strangepork: You don't want to see the sausages being made.
Link Hogthrob: Oink!
Luke: When has paper ever been evil?
C-3PO: Money. Paper cuts. Exams. Bills.
R2-D2: Bills are lawful neutral.
C-3PO: Lawful neutral is just evil with extra steps.


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Published: Sunday, 18 August, 2019; 03:11:03 PDT.
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