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Episode 1716: Boom or Bust

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[Reminder: Our guest commentators have not seen Rogue One. Part of the fun is seeing how their untainted impressions re-interpret the movie through the lens of our comic.]

I really don't know where to start.

First, giving an order to an admiral. I admit that I don't really know military (or Navy) ranks. But I thought that above admiral, you had fleet admiral (gives commands to admirals), and rear admirals (gives instructions to the fleet admirals). I cannot believe that any of our crew has a rank that high for this mission.

Next, the thought of saying that you are able to take out the weapons and engines on a star destroyer, when it has all of those fighters to keep you busy. If you somehow have the firepower and accuracy to strategically disable only the stuff of highly tactical importance, then you basically outclass the other side to the point that there isn't really a battle.

And, ion torpedoes? Won't those have a strong electrical charge (useful for being accelerated) which means that they will be deflected by essentially any form of shielding?

I have never heard of a bombing run being able to hit targets that accurately. Especially if the ships doing the bombing runs are under fire; if you're flying in that predictable of a path, then their computers know exactly where to target their shots to hit you and you're dead.

I can tell that I'm not going to be happy with this movie when I finally see it. Right? Somehow, something has to be happening that manages to completely disable one of the Empire's capital ships, in the middle of a fleet, with essentially nothing seen on screen except for a little firepower.

This whole planetary shield gate seems to make less and less sense, and this whole military operation seems to make less and less sense the more I try to figure out what's supposed to be going on.

— Keybounce

Transcript

Bria: Okay, here's the plan. We'll hijack a star destroyer and bomb the gate.
Admiral Raddus: That's crazy! Even if we did hijack one, we could just fly through. They'd open the gate for it.
Bria: That can be plan B. First: disable their weapons with a bombing run, so our boarding fleet can approach safely.
Admiral Raddus: Um, we don't even—
Bria: That's an order. Admiral.
Admiral Raddus: ... Gold Squadron, arm ion torpedoes!
Bria: This is going to work so much better than Bail Organa's needlessly sensible plan.
[SFX]: pow pow
[SFX]: Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! {Y-wings hit the star destroyer Profundity}
[SFX]: Kzzzt! Zzzt! Zztt... {the star destroyer's engines short out}
Admiral Raddus: Weapons disabled! And the engines.
Bria: Great! Board the star destroyer, fly it to the gate, and shoot it with everything it's got!
Admiral Raddus: Brilliant. The "only" problem being, as I was saying, we don't have a boarding fleet.


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Published: Thursday, 11 October, 2018; 03:11:01 PDT.
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