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<     Episode 996: 'Roid Rage     >

Episode 996: 'Roid Rage

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Realistic space collision hazards are one of two things:

(a) Boring. At worst, you might walk through someone's ball of orange juice that they left floating in mid-air. Or...

(b) Incredibly lethal and so fast you don't have a chance to realise what just happened before you die. Any two random objects in space are likely to have relative velocities so high that if they collide one of them will simply punch a hole right through the other one. And you won't see it coming, let alone have time to react.

To alleviate this problem, use some artistic licence and populate your spacelanes with masses of rocks slowly drifting drifting in random directions. It makes no sense, but hey, neither do warp drives, psionic powers, or artificial gravity.

Transcript

Leia: Chewie, get up here! We're going into an asteroid field!
Han: That's no problem. Just don't hit whatever asteroid might be within a hundred thousand kilometres.
Han: They're in nice stable orbits too, so it's easy to avoid them.
Leia: Okay, fine. We're going into a massive region of randomly moving, closely packed, enormous giant space rocks.
Han: Gaaaaaah!
GM: It's my proudest creation.
Chewbacca: I was aiming at it. It'll at least get the star destroyers off our back.
C-3PO: Cool! FYI: There's a big one coming right for us.
Han: I fire!
Chewbacca: Don't shoot it, it'll just make two medium ones.


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